Always Be My Baby
by Brooks's-Babey
Summary: Sequel to Realizations. Jalex wedding. Other couples involved too.
1. Chapter 1

**Jalex: Always Be My Baby**

**This is the sequel to Realizations, the Jalex wedding! Hope you like it!**

**Basically, its two years after the end of Realizations, and two weeks until Jay and Alex are due to get married. Characters in this story are: Jay, Alex, Kendra, Manny, Emma, Toby, Towerz, Sean, Amy, Paige, Ellie and a few original characters that I've made up. There may well be some more familiar pop up at some point too, I just haven't decided yet.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!**

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I looked at my hopeless reflection in the mirror as the tailor took in another inch on the corset of my 'stunning' wedding dress.

"Hows that, Ms Nuñez?" She asked me with a skeptical look on her face.

We'd been stood in front of this mirror taking inches upon inches off this dress for what seemed like years. This so called perfect dress had been on reserve for me in this store since May while I'd been mustering up enough shifts at work to pay for it. Back then, I'd reserved a size seven dress. But in those six months, I'd lost enough weight with pre-wedding stress and nerves to fill a whole second dress. I walked into the dress shop this morning and was presented with the gown, and knew from looking at it that it just wouldn't fit me. Reluctantly, I stepped into it anyway and emerged from the fitting room holding it up around the gaping bust. Jeanine, my tailor, had told me it wouldn't be a problem, but after multiple attempts to resize it, I was pinned into this thing, and I was beginning to feel out of my depth.

"Will it go in any further?" I asked miserably as I saw at least another inch and a half of possible fabric that could be pinned.

She looked reluctant, and continued fiddling with the fabric. "You know, Ms. Nuñez, for the amount of fabric you've taken in, you might be better off finding another dress."

My heart sank. I knew that's what she'd end up suggesting. I'd had my heart set on this dress for so long that I couldn't imagine having to choose something else. And I was hardly in the money enough to choose another dress, I just couldn't afford anything else.

"How much will it cost for all these alterations?" I asked.

"80 dollars, with the 15 discount on the price of the dress."

"And how much would it be for a new dress?"

"Any dress you find, you can have with a 25 discount."

I considered this for a few minutes, before deciding I didn't want to go for it. "No, I want the alterations for this one."

Janine looked like it pained her to do so, but she agreed. "OK, this is as far as I can go. It'll be ready for pick up in three days."

This isn't what I wanted to hear but I accepted it anyway. I was too fucking tired and sick of wedding planning to argue with her further.

I retired back to the fitting room and stepped out of the baggy dress and back into my jeans and Jay's t-shirt. I threw my jacket on over the top and emerged a few minutes later probably looking ready to kill someone.

I gritted my teeth and endured a few more minutes of 'dress talk' before I made my apologies and left that place.

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Crossing the parking lot, I was distracted by a familiar voice calling my name. I turned in the direction of the voice, and saw that it belonged to none other than blast from the past... Paige Michalchuk. She was bounding across the parking lot at a phenomenal speed. At this point, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Could this day _get _any worse?

"Alex Nuñez!" She shouted my name across the parking lot. I cringed at the reminder of the sound of her voice but smiled nervously and edged my way over to her reluctantly.

"Hey, Paige." I said stiffly.

"Or should I say Alex Hogart! When is this happening, sweetie?!" Her voice was so fake and grating, like fingernails down a chalk board.

"Two weeks tomorrow." I replied, not wanting to divulge too much information to my nemesis.

"I'm happy for you sweetie, no I really am!" I watched her as she said it, and was almost bowled right over. She spoke like she thought I was taking a step back by marrying Jay. Like our time together was more special to me than my life with Jay. More like my lifetime with Jay. I'd been with him since leaving high school. My time that I was with Paige was... nice, at the time. But it had seriously been almost ten years.

"Thanks." I said bitterly. "Well you caught me just as I was heading home. My daugh-"

"No! Sweetie, you can't leave yet! We're just getting reacquainted! Stay for a drink at least! Or a bite to eat, you look like you could use it!" I stepped back in anger as she poked my ribs, but I kept my expression calm, something I'd perfected through years of Jay's drunken "flirting" and my mom's constant wanting to help look after my babies.

Opposite the wedding dress store was a small time diner with lace curtains and shutters on the windows and everything, the whole nine yards. I would have passed it right by if it wasn't for my present company. This whole meeting was too cliché for words, too awkward to elaborate on. Before I could convince myself to just leave, I was stood at the door being greeted by the owner.

"Welcome to Mama's, sweetness, table for two?" She addressed Paige. She had dark skin, curly hair and was dressed in pale pink, different to all the other waitresses flitting about. Paige lead the way to the table behind the lady, and I followed begrudgingly. We were sat down in a booth in the window right in the corner away from the hustle and bustle. Mama took our drinks order then left us with two menus. I snatched one up hastily and held it in front of my face to hide the pissed off scowl I had fixed on my face.

I hadn't come into contact with Paige since Spinner...passed away, and I wasn't ready for her to come parading back into my life in her fancy Christian Louboutin shoes just yet. I was just fifteen days away from marrying Jay, I didn't need distractions of the former lesbian life partner kind. I had enough doubts and worries in my head without adding all... _that _into the equation.

After studying the crap put of the menu, I placed it down and stared out the window to the cars and people coming and going outside. I could feel Paige's eyes burning into me. She looked at me with a look that I couldn't quite place. I think it was a cross between 'I regret ever leaving you' and 'Since I last saw you, you've really gone to pieces'. Either way, I wasn't too pleased with the look. She obviously noticed the collection of tattoos that Jay and I had accumulated over the years. She looked disgusted. I felt a similar way when I looked at her face. OK, so thats not strictly true. But I can lie to myself, right? There's no one around in my head to correct me if I don't want there to be. I was rambling to myself now and my self inflicted insanity was beginning to get worrying. Paige seemed engrossed in the menu all of a sudden, like it was the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen. I considered taking another look, but left it on the table, knowing I couldn't stomach food.

"So you're actually going through with it?" Her voice was slippy, evil and dangerous.

I arched my eyebrows with a hint of anger. I couldn't stay calm. "If by _'it' _you mean marrying my high school sweetheart and the father of my two kids, then yeah. I am really doing it." I spat. I wasn't gonna stand for her shit anymore. She'd missed _that _boat by nearly ten years. Even after everything that had happened, Paige was still the same self centered head cheerleader type she'd been in high school. I stood up from my seat in a shot and headed toward the door with fire in my eyes. Mama was headed over to our table with our coffee's. I'd leave the bill for Paige.

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"Paige Michalchuk?!" Ellie exclaimed in disgust as I recalled the days events to her. "I haven't heard that name in years." Ellie had been absent from my life since high school ended, but upon her return to Toronto a year and a half ago, our friendship had redeemed itself and now I couldn't imagine life without my best friend. Us two, plus my other best friend Cassidy were going to rock the church in two weeks time. Ellie was my maid of honor and Cassidy was my own bridesmaid, and for some stupid reason, I agreed a few months back I agreed that Jay's good friend Kendra – Spin's sister – could be his choice for bridesmaid. If I thought far enough back, I remember before Kendra transferred out of Degrassi to go to a different school – I have no idea which one – me and Jay used to see her sat on the benches with that girl in the wheelchair playing chess and discussing homework and other such school related behavior. Never in a million years did I think that in a decade from then, Jay would be best friends with her. K it helps him feel closer to Spinner. Or Spinner's memory at least.

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**What did you think? Reviews are greatly appreciated! I really wanna know what you guys think, so let me know!**

**Thanks to:**

**Uhohchemicalspill**

**ish78**

**AllyK00**

**Haley's Comet**

**and of course, degrassijayandalex**

**for all the awesome requests for this sequel. I hope you like it, and please review!**


	2. Fourteen Days To Go

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews! Sorry for the crazy long wait! Please review this! I hope you like it! Let me know!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!**

**Fourteen Days To Go**

I just wanted a day away from the wedding craze, but no. The very next day, I found myself being dragged from pillar to post around wedding dress shops with 'Ellie the Enthusiast'. Even though I was waiting for the one I'd originally chosen to be ready, but Ellie insisted on taking me for a last minute look around the shops, just in case I wanted to add anymore confusion to the mix and change my mind. Personally, I think she just wanted to look at the dresses in hope that Sean might propose and she'd get to wear one someday. He'd been away fighting in Afghanistan for the past four months, and he'd be back in two months, in time for Christmas, but not in time for our wedding. Jay was really gutted about it, but there were other people he could have as his best man…

Ellie was browsing the long white frocks with a pining look on her face. It silently worried me that Ellie was more excited about this wedding than I was, and I was the one getting freaking married. Ellie seemed in a world of her own as she floated up and down the rows of dresses. I was examining the neckline of one and momentarily considered changing my mind _again, _but my mind was soon snapped back when a commission-hungry salesperson approached me asking if I needed any help.

"Nope, just waiting for Wannabe Bridezilla over there." I pointed Ellie out and excused myself from the conversation not in so many words. "El, remember I have to meet Jay at two." Me and Jay were going to get new tattoos at three, and the drive over to the place was phenomenal. it could well have been the furthest point in Toronto before you reached the border between provinces. OK, so maybe I'm exaggerating a smidge, but it was way far. Ellie looked crestfallen, but she accepted it anyway.

"OK, lets go." She let the handful of white silk she was clutching fall away and sighed lightly as she walked away from her dreams once again.

We headed out the store and into the weak fall heat, leaving behind the chilly air conditioned environment. Ellie still had a face like thunder. I wanted to say something, but I held it in. We walked silently to the car, and I jumped in the drivers seat and Ellie resumed her place on the passengers side. I was driving Jay's car, but that was irrelevant. I could smell him as I sat in the front, backing out of the parking space. Cigarette smoke and his aftershave, along with the scent of the vanilla air freshener swinging from the rear view. It reminded me of high school, when we screwed on the backseat, my first aged fourteen. Between then and the day I found out about him and those girls at the ravine, I lost count of the times we'd done the same thing. Maybe that's cuz we were embarrassingly wasted at the time...

Jay didn't have the blue (re-sprayed orange) Civic anymore, but he's still driving them, this time a white one, with blacked out windows that had been lowered so it was practically scraping the floor. He didn't know I had the keys to his 'third baby'. No doubt when he returned from work at 1.30 to see it wasn't on the drive, he went crazy. After letting my mind drift from one thought to another, I realized we were already tanking down the street towards the humble place me and Jay called home. I pulled up in the drive and Ellie was up and out of the car before I could even cut the engine. I threw off my seatbelt and climbed out of the car and followed Ellie to where she stood at the front door, waiting for it to be opened by either me on the outside or Jay on the inside.

**Jay POV**

I missed Alex this morning. Tables were turned and I was out of the house by 6.30am while she was still in bed. I kissed my daughters goodbye, but left Alex sleeping, rather than wake her up and suffer her early morning wrath.

Daniela and Zara were at the mother-in-law's til five, so I was free to jump in the shower. The hot water faucet was dodgy, so I couldn't really relax in the shower. I let the temperamental water fall on my heavily tattooed body. The buzz and rush of knowing I was getting a new one was enough to get me through the sometimes freezing, sometimes scolding shower. i stepped out and grabbed the towel off the counter. I heard the door click downstairs and hoped it was Alex and Ellie, not Emily bringing the kids back early. I secured the towel around my waist and stepped out onto the landing. "Lex?"

"Yep, hey." I heard my girlfriends voice call back. I didn't want to tempt fate by calling her my wife-to-be, or even my fiancée. I'm more than happy to leave her as my girlfriend for two weeks until we actually make it down the aisle and its all official. Then she'll get the new title.

**Alex POV**

Jay came charging down the stairs and into the kitchen dressed only in a smile. And a towel. "Jay, put some clothes on, we've got company." I hissed as he stood before me, for some reason looking really proud of himself.

"It's OK, I'm just on my way back upstairs. Just came down to say hello."

"Well, hello. No go get ready, we've gotta be outta here in fifteen minutes." I pushed him out of the kitchen and he started back up the stairs, whistling to himself. I couldn't help but watch him as he clambered up the stairs. When he got to the top, he turned and smiled.

"I see I can still win you over when I need to." He said with a wink. I smiled like he was joking and I knew he was, but inside my stomach was doing flips. Even as a grown adult, almost thirty years old, my 'boyfriend' could still give me butterflies as easily as when we were teenagers. I went back into the kitchen to retrieve the coffees for Ellie and myself and took them through to the living room. I didn't realize I was doing it, but I must have been sat there grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"Why are you so happy all of a sudden?" Ellie asked skeptically as she sipped her coffee. I could've lied, and said I was neither more nor less happy than I was before, but I thought, fuck it, why lie?

"I'm just finally realizing why I'm marrying that loser upstairs." As I spoke my grin got broader. Ellie looked suitably confused.

"And whys that?"

"Because I love him."

"It's always nice to hear that." Jay burst through the door again, this time wearing dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. You could see his muscular arms covered in ink. He flopped down on the couch next to Ellie and hoiked his leg up to put his socks on. "Hey, El." He greeted her jubilantly, obviously not picking up on her fragile state of mind. He put his feet back on the floor and reached forward for a swig of his can of Coke, that we both knew had been sat there since yesterday.

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**Alex POV**

I was passed getting nervous when I got tattoos. We'd been coming to this place, getting tattooed by the same guys for pushing ten years. We both had tattoos for Zara and Daniela, and Jay had nine others discluding his three-quarter sleeves on both arms. Me, I've got six tattoos, the first of which I got when I was seventeen, and thus is the one I regret most. A huge black tramp-stamp, right across the bottom of my back, that I loved for maybe three years. Then I grew up a bit and realized actually it looked horrible on me. Before realizing that, I got a big one on my hip and several on my feet and ankles. Now I was adding number seven to the collection. I'd passed the stage where I got a tattoo because I wanted it, I usually just got one if Jay was getting one. We told each other we'd never get each others names, 'cuz lets face it, nothing lasts forever, not even the best things in life. So today, we weren't going to do the obvious and get wedding tattoos, we were gonna get separate designs. Jay was going to get one of his sleeves finished, and I... well I'm not really sure.

I watched Jay as he got his ink. Mine was done already; a small black number nine on the inside of my wrist. Nice and simple, it was my lucky number. Nine months of pregnancy for both my little girls, nine months for me and Jay's first relationship, nine: the amount of times Chad got away with beating my mom before we finally got rid of that grease ball once and for all. I'd only decided on it for sure as I was getting out the car and saw the license plate, two nine's in that too. Jay was more of a philosophical tattoo receiver. His right arm was almost completely covered now, largely with a design dedicated to Spinner; a red and yellow spinning top with "G.R.M" underneath, on his lower arm and a large color blossom tree design on his top arm in memory of his mom and dad. By the time Carey the tattooist was finished, his arm would be completely inked. As I was all done, I sat watching Jay as he got a eagle flying against a stormy sky around his wrist. It blended in to the roots of the blossom tree above it, and so looked quite good. He didn't flinch, he didn't even wince.

Half an hour later, we were all done and we were heading out the shop. Compared to my tiny black tattoo, Jay's tattoo was hellish expensive. But hey, it was his money... When we left the shop it was decidedly darker than it was when we went in. Jay slipped his jacket over my shoulders and zipped up his hoodie on himself. I was grateful to have the warmth on such a bitter night, but I felt somewhat pathetic when Jay helped me in such ways. I know its just me being freakishly awkward and unreasonable, but I've always been that way and I can't change that. I let him hold my hand at least. We detoured on the way back to the car and stopped off at McDonald's. Hardly the Four Seasons, but I sat contently in a booth in the corner while Jay queued for our order. Looking out the window, I let my brain melt and spill over to two weeks from now, when I'd be Mrs. Hogart. God, what a thought...

**Jay POV**

I don't remember McDonald's staff being this slow when I worked here, summer of graduation year. I was painfully aware of Alex sat over at the table on her own. I didn't like leaving her. I felt like shit taking her out to eat at frickin' McDonald's, but money was tight right now. I hadn't told her yet, but two weeks ago, work cut down my hours from the usual forty I did to just twenty nine. I told myself when I found this job after loosing ownership of Tony's Autoshop, I'd make sure I was providing for my three girls. But the money I've lost is phenomenal. When I receive my first pay check shortly after the wedding, Alex is gonna realize that we're getting like $200 a month less than what we were. Alex's part time job at the store is hardly earning us megabucks. We're gonna crash and burn, I can tell.

"Sir, can I take your order please?" This cashier has been on since the morning shift began, I can tell.

"Uh, yeah can I get two of the number three's, both with large full fat Coke's please."

Alex needs some fattening up, I think to myself as I drum my fingers on the counter loudly as I wait for our food. Five minutes later, I'm carrying our food over to where Alex is sat on the far side. As soon as I place the tray down she's picking at the fries, shoveling them into her mouth not even giving herself time to douse them in her usual five sachets of ketchup. Looking at her skeletal frame, you might think this was the first food she'd been given in months.

We hung out in McDonald's for almost an hour, like old times. When it was just me and Alex, no care in the world, no responsibilities. Don't get me wrong, I love my two little girls more than anything, but when me and Alex were kids and we used to just hang out, drinking, smoking, partying, they were some of the best days of my life. My old buddy Clayton was still manager of this restaurant and had been when I worked here. Now, ten years on, we were friends, instead of the enemies we'd been when I was his employee.

We finally arrived home a little after eight pm. Daniela and Zara were sat side-by-side on the couch watching old Sponge Bob re-runs, while 'babysitter' Emily was passed out in the adjacent armchair. I walked into the room and the girls didn't even look up from the screen. I picked up the empty brandy glass that was in balance on the arm of the chair.

"Alex, she's fucking passed out drunk."

"Daddy, don't." Daniela told me off for swearing, something she had a strong tendency for doing of late. Looking at my two girls sat together, it was like seeing two mini Alex's staring back at me. I couldn't help but smile, something I tried to keep hidden. I turned back to Alex.

"Lex, get her outta here, now." I hissed.

"Jay, that's my mom your talkin' about."

"She's meant to be looking after the girls. They're your kids too Alex."

"You think I don't know that?" I'm not sure why Alex sticks up for her mom after all the shit she put her through when she was a kid.

**Alex POV**

We got rid of my mom by eight-thirty. For the rest of the night it was awkward. All I could think about was imagining Ellie turning up on the door step tomorrow with yet another wedding related activity for us to do together...

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	3. Thirteen Days To Go

**Thanks for the reviews, guys! Hope you're all liking it so far!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except for Daniela, Zara and Cassidy.**

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**Thirteen Days To Go**

**Alex POV**

There were thirteen days to go til the wedding. I realized this while stood in the kitchen making four different breakfasts. Porridge for Zara, pancakes for Jay, cereal for Daniela and simply a glass of orange juice for myself. God forbid I'd have it easy and everyone would eat the same meal. When Zara was a few months old and Daniela was still a toddler, I could just throw together all the remnants from the fridge for them and call it dinner. But now, Zara was beginning to eat normally, Daniela was becoming fussy and Jay, well... with Jay, if it wasn't sugar-coated, he didn't wanna know. The pancakes were plated up and ready for Jay to devour, but he hadn't actually got his lazy ass outta bed yet.

"Jay!" I threw my head back and yelled up to him. I heard a thump above my head, which I can only presume was Jay tumbling out of bed. I turned and checked on my baby and my little girl while I was calling down the 'Big Kid'. Apart from their pair of piercing jewel blue eyes, the girls were the spitting image of me. Their hair, like mine, was dark brown, so dark it was positively black. They both had my Mediterranean skin tone, and both girls were pretty skinny, even though I was always giving them food.

Jay bursting through the door and groaning loudly interrupted my analysis. I turned to see him enter the kitchen looking a little worse for wear. It was his own fault. He did insist on staying up and playing X-Box and drinking beer all night.

"I have no sympathy for you." I jeered half-heartedly as he looked at me with his puppy dog eyes.

"The bed feels so cold without you in it, Lexi." He whined, snaking his arm around my waist.

"Who else is gonna cook breakfast? Not you, Super Chef." I shot back sarcastically.

"Speaking of breakfast..." Jay turned his head in the direction of the pancakes sat on the counter waiting for him. He scooped up the plate, headed to the refrigerator, grabbed the syrup and took his seat around the table.

"Daddy!" Zara cooed merrily as Jay tweaked her nose playfully.

"Hello baby girl."

Daniela sat contently at the table dutifully shoveling heaped spoonfuls of Froot Loops into her mouth. Daddy's girl.

"Good morning, Princess Daniela." Jay said formally.

"Hi dad." She replied, not taking her eyes off the open page of her book.

I observed this little scene and couldn't help smiling to myself. If I didn't know I'd carried her for nine months and given birth to her all those years ago, I would have sworn blind there was no way a kid like Daniela could belong to Jay and I. She was clever, bright and sensible. Even at five years of age. She always had her nose in a book, homework was always done and her toys were never messy. Me and Jay, on the other hand, were scruffy, dirty and a little filthy. And we were the freaking parents.

Zara wasn't exactly eating her porridge. She dunked her spoon in and out of the thick gunk. Occasionally, she would stick it in her mouth and take a mouthful, but the majority of it was going in her hair, down her front and on the floor. I was kinda hoping Jay would intervene and start feeding the porridge to her, but he was obviously too engrossed in his pancakes. He'd picked up the jug of syrup four times, they were swimming in the golden sauce.

I left the washing up for later, and took myself and my glass of orange juice to the table. I sat next to Daniela, and peeked over her shoulder at the book she was reading. _'Pride and Prejudice'._

I was sure she wouldn't really understand the content she was reading, but it melted my heart to see her so wrapped up in something like reading. All of my own short-comings and failings in life had seemingly been filtered out of the gene pool and my little Daniela was gonna grow up to be a doctor or a scientist...

**Jay POV**

I hate the school run. There is one up side to it, I get to see the hot mom's. But thats just my little fantasy that I keep to myself. I have the choice of driving the white Civic or the black one. Well, when I say I have the choice, I mean Daniela has the choice.

"Wanna go in the white one or the black one, Dan?" I asked as I got her messenger bag down off the hook.

"Black one." She said simply. I knew why. The twin exhaust in the white one was loud and scared her, even when I was driving slow through the 10 mph zone.

"Alright then sweetie, lets go."

During the drive, I asked Daniela lots of questions about school, and her friends but she seemed reluctant to answer, and even when she did, the answers were half-assed and vague. I wanted to pursue it more, but we were at the gates off the school before I could really find time to ask. She went to get out of the car on her own, but I was having none of it.

"Where are you going? Give daddy a kiss." I demanded playfully.

She turned back and embarrassedly kissed me quickly on the cheek before jumping out the car and into the school grounds. She slowed her pace as she got in and started getting enveloped in the crowds of kids. I watched her inside, and examined closely as I saw her stood alone in the crowds, clutching her books like a safety blanket. My heart was in my mouth and threatening to gag me as I saw my little girl standing alone. I desperately wanted to get out of the car and take her back with me, but I knew that wasn't an option. So instead, I stayed sat in the car watching until I started getting beeped at by pushy idiots in people carriers with twelve children to drop off.

The drive home, I stuck on a deafening indie album to block out my persistent thoughts. When I got home, I didn't mention anything about Daniela to Alex. She was battling with Zara, trying to clean her face after the debacle with the porridge at breakfast.

I left her to it and ran upstairs before I could get collared and jumped in the shower. After the refreshing wash, I retired to the couch and turned on adultswim. I was busy checking out a mighty old run of Family Guy's twelfth season when Alex piped up behind me. She rested her chin on my shoulder. "Don't worry I got Zara down for her nap myself."

"Clever girl." I said dryly.

"What time do you start work today?" She asked.

My heart sank at the mention of work, that God forsaken hell-hole. I was working a pathetic four hour shift this evening, but I figured that'd give me away. "One til nine." I lied.

"Me, Cassidy and Ellie are wine tasting today." Alex told me.

"Ooh, have fun. Don't get too drunk."

"Jay, its tasters. They're like shot glass sized servings."

"Yes, what's your point?" I joked. In my opinion, Alex wasn't really too good at handling her alcohol. But that was in comparison to me. And compared to me, even the strongest Irishman would have trouble. The thirteen cans of Bud in the trash were evidence of that. Thirteen pints of beer and no sign of a hangover. All that this morning was just from sleeping awkwardly. Seriously.

"Well, if you wouldn't mind, could you put a shirt on? Cass and Ellie will be here soon and I doubt they wanna see you're beautiful body."

"Are you kidding me? They'd pay you good money to rent me out for their viewing pleasure."

"In your dreams, Jay." Alex heaved herself up and returned to the kitchen. The clanging and banging of pans against metal told me she was tackling the dishes.

_If only you knew._ I thought to myself. Whoring out my body for megabucks is a nice idea, but sadly, it just ain't gonna happen. We're not that desperate yet.

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**Alex POV**

It's a good thing the wine tasting place – I'm sure it has a formal name, I just don't care to remember it right now – isn't a long walk cuz I don't fancy a DUI on my shoulders as I'm planning my wedding. I was meeting the girls there, as apparently Cassidy has a friend who works there that can get us a free bottle of red. All of this doesn't really matter much to me. Wine is wine at the end of the day. I don't know the difference between dessert wines and... other types of wines.

When I arrived, Ellie and Cassidy were already there, for how long I don't know. Ellie looked flabbergasted and then relieved to see me. She and Cassidy weren't the best of friends, but mine and Cassidy's friendship had lasted longer than anyone I've _ever _been friend with, including Ellie. Cassidy was loud, girly and very pink. She hugged me as she clapped eyes on me. I accepted it as the way she was, but it wasn't very me, hugs, screams and squeals of delight.

Ellie was cooler. She just nodded and mouthed a hello. We weren't left to stand around for long.

After about five samplers, I had lost record of which wine was which, and which wine tasted like what. As far as I was concerned, they all tasted like grape and chemicals. And thats probably all they were. Cassidy was having the time of her life. She was so psyched for this wedding. Kinda like Ellie but on helium, and possible speed. Eventually, after whittling twelve testers down to six, then six down to three, it was time to make a choice. Ultimately, it was my decision, so I was given the final task of having one more shot of these last three wines and choosing which one I wanted on my wedding day. I wasn't really bothered, but Cassidy kept cracking jokes about she and Ellie feeling left out. I wanted to hand the responsibility over to one of them, but I had to carry on. I was so near to the end. So, after swallowing three lots of the red liquid, I finally chose the second one. I was told the name, but it escapes me, and probably always will.

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**A bit of sadness for Daniela, but some light hearted fun for Alex and her chums. Hope you liked the chapter. Please review, pretty please! I love knowing what you guys think!**

**:)**


	4. Twelve Days To Go

**The decoration they choose for the cake might sound disgusting colour-match wise, but I've seen a picture of it in real life and it really isn't that bad. Thanks for all the reviews guys!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!**

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**Twelve days to go**

**Alex POV**

The shrill ring of the phone through the house at 7:30am woke me and Jay. Even on a week day, none of us were up. Daniela had to be at school in less than an hour and we were all still asleep. I jumped out of bed like a shot and grabbed the phone off the cradle on the wall in the hallway.

"Hello?" I was aware I sounded half asleep (I was) but I really didn't care.

"Ms. Nunez?" An alert voice on the other end I didn't recognize answered me.

"Speaking?" I yawned widely and answered, attempting to stifle my yawn.

"Hello, its Gracie Myer." They spoke as if I should know who they were. Silence. "From Sweetness and Light." Pause... oh! The wedding cake company!

"What can I do for you?" I hadn't intended to suddenly sound so formal.

"Well, you were due to come in yesterday for a cake sampling. Can you today instead?"

I totally forgot about it. I vaguely knew in the back of my head I'd double booked two wedding meetings yesterday, but when it came down to it, it completely slipped my mind. "Yeah, we'll be there today. I have to drop off my daughters, we can be there at ten."

I heard Jay shout out to me in protest from the bed, but I pulled the bedroom door shut to silence him.

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Jay took Dani to school again, and I got Zara up and ready to go to daycare. I toyed with the idea of taking her with us, but in the end I decided against it. We left the house at the same time. Jay took Dani in the black car and I took Zara in the white one. The daycare was only a few blocks down. I switched the radio into KWOW as I drove. For some reason, Zara seemed to like the heavy metal music. The heavy beat of the music reminded me of when Jay and I used to go driving for hour on end. Driving with nowhere to go.

I always got funny looks when I pulled up at the daycare. It wasn't often we left Dani at daycare, seen as though there was always somewhere for her to go if me and Jay both happened to be working at the same time – which lets face it, wasn't often. When I pulled up in the Honda, the rumbling engine and platinum color headlights against the shadowy early morning silence was shattering. Me sauntering into the room in a tank top and Jay's jeans, showing off my tattoos and long black hair, I stuck out like a sore thumb, nothing like the other moms. I knew no-one here. I didn't make the effort to get to know any of the others. I left Zara in the arms of the care assistant who was probably ten times more capable of caring for kids than I was, and announced I'd be back to pick her up at one.

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**Jay POV**

I walked into school with Dani this morning. She clutched onto my hand as we crossed the playground. I felt her grip tighten with every step we took. My heart was in my mouth. I had a reason to be here though, I wasn't trying to make my daughters life even more of a misery by escorting her to and from school everyday. I had been called by the school, like, weeks ago about this semesters parent-teacher meeting, and I couldn't remember for the life of me when it was. The iron-grip of my daughters hand took me back to when I was in high school. I used to mock, ridicule and terrorize. The kids that were even slightly different. The grade sevens that were dropped off at the front of school. I used to laugh until I was red in the face. But becoming a dad has _seriously _changed my outlook on life. I have the hardest time letting my Dani go every morning. And recently, its got harder, seeing her stood alone while the other kids run amok and have fun before the dreaded first bell. I want to know whats going on in her head, but she doesn't seem to want to let anyone in.

Once inside, she dropped my hand and skipped ahead – literally. I couldn't hold back my smile. She was so undeniably cute, I broadcast that on a regular basis to anyone willing to sit and listen to me boast. She hung up her Dora The Explorer messenger bag on a hook with her name on and returned to my side and took my hand again.

"Show me where your class is, Dani." I looked down at her and spoke to her in the mushy voice reserved for the kids only.

"It's right up here, daddy!" She started skipping again, but this time she didn't let go of my hand, so I had to up my speed to follow her around a corner.

"Hello, Daniela! Ah, Mr Hogart!" The young blond haired teacher greeted me _waaaay _too cheerily for such an early hour.

"Hey, just call me Jay." I corrected her politely.

"Well, Jay. Good morning. What can I do for you?" She smiled sweetly. She was quite hot. I'm spoken for, though. I know that.

"I just wanted to verify when the parent-teacher meeting is." I explained briefly, deciding to decline my concerns for Dani's wellbeing.

"It's this Friday. Anytime from 4 onwards."

"OK, great. Thanks for that." I returned the warm smile and turned my attention back to Dani before I started thinking impure thoughts...

"OK, Dani. Daddy's going now. Grandma is picking you up again today." I was reluctant to let Emily have _anything _to do with Dani and Zara, but tonight Alex had work, for once, and I just had to do this overtime. I was thus far managing to keep my hours somewhat resembling what they used to be, with overtime. But that wasn't going to pull the wool over Alex's eyes for much longer.

"OK, Daddy. See you tonight."

"I love you baby." I ruffled her hair softly and paused for a moment too look at the sheer awesomeness. I'd created this little star. Damn, that was something I'd never get tired of thinking.

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**Alex POV**

Jay actually had to attend this with me. Apart from tux purchasing and booking the after party, Jay'd had no involvement in the planning of this wedding thus far. We took the white Civic to get us there quicker so we could leave later. We did the fifteen minute journey in a little under ten. For some reason, I was under the impression we'd already chosen the cake, but obviously it hadn't been taken care of yet.

When we got there, it was even more pink and sugary and fluffy than I remembered. Ironically enough, we had to wait for over ten minutes for the lady who was seeing us to become available. I found it hard to believe that there was really that much to think about when choosing a cake, but incredibly, there was. I snuck sly looks at Jay a few times during the meeting, and he looked as much bored as I felt nauseas. It was just like yesterday sampling the wines, except I had no actual desire to taste thirty different types of cake. Sponge, chocolate, porter, cupcakes, marzipan, icing, royal icing, butter-cream, carrot cake... who gives a fuck?

The cake was cut up into neat little squares. There were millions to choose from and it was positively impossible. I'd sampled five types and I could taste little difference in any of them. We both just wanted to get out of there, so basically, I just randomly chose one, and that was it. Sponge cake with jam and butter cream. I thought we were done... oh no. We were just getting started. Next we had to choose the icing type, icing colour, shape, amount of tiers we wanted and what decoration we wanted. One thing on that list was easy. We were NOT under _any _circumstances having one of those little bride and groom figurines. Not a hope in hell. Anyway, I decided it was about time had some input (and started taking some of the freaking questions) so I handed the baton to him.

"Jay, you decide the shape."

**Jay POV**

Shape? Freaking shape? Who cares? What shapes are there. I can think of... square. And round. I went with my gut instinct. "Uh, square I guess. It's... classic." I trailed off as I realized how forced that really sounded.

"OK, excellent!" The cake person, whatever they're called, was really enthusiastic. "Now, royal icing is usually best. I can say, and I think you'd agree, you can't really go wrong with a classic jam and cream sponge with white royal icing." She was brimming over with smiles.

"Uh, definitely. Sounds, uh classic." Ugh, what a cliché.

"Brilliant. OK, one tier, two tier, or even three?!"

I looked over to Alex but she was looking blank. She held up her hands with a small sarcastic smile on her face that said 'your in this on your own, matey-boy.'

"Uh, two I guess." I said the first number that came into my head. Luckily the first number to come into my head wasn't something obscene like ninety-nine.

"Brilliant. And decal? This is the book." She handed me a huge binder full of sugary options. Me and Alex browsed it together, flicking through until we saw one that was right for us.

"This one, definitely." Alex handed the folder back, with her index finger marking the design that had unanimously won the vote. A red rose and a yellow rose, with green ivy trailing in and out, on the fresh white icing background. "Yellow and red. Spanish colors."

"Ah! You know I was debating to myself whether that was Spanish or Italian!"

"Spanish." She confirmed. "OK, so is that it?"

"Yep, we're all done. The order will be placed today and will be ready for collection on the day. Sponge, jam and cream, white royal icing, this decoration, and square, two tier." She double checked.

"Yep, thats the one." Me and Alex rose to our feet at the same time. I thanked the woman, shook her hand and we were out of their like bullets out of a 9mm.

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**SNEAK PEAK NEXT CHAPTER: **Eleven days to go. Jay gets into trouble at work, and his job hangs in the balance. Alex's dress is ready, and she and Ellie have a job finding somewhere in their house to hide it from the groom before the big day.

**Please R&R! Thanks you guys! (:**


	5. Eleven Days To Go

**Sorry for the huge wait guys. Thanks for the reviews. Hope you like this chapter! Plesae review, and lastly: I hope this chapter makes sense. I wrote the beginning, middle and end in a backwards order about 3 weeks apart.**

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**Eleven Days To Go**

**Jay POV**

I should have been working, but I was relaxing back in my chair smoking a joint. Foolish thing to do at work, I know that now. But I was reminiscing and thinking about stuff. Literally, everything. From way back when, to the here and now. I was considering everything. Unsurprisingly, there was little to do at work. I'd changed the tires on a Mercedes this morning, and since then I'd been sat here with time on my hands and a load on my mind...

_After high school, Alex didn't want anything to do with me, which was hardly a shock. I wasn't happy to let her go though, but she was determined to escape me. I had my job at McDonald's and a seemingly picture perfect relationship with Amy. Fat lot of shit that was. We were seventeen and sixteen years old, respectively, and we were damn naive. We were both cheating on each other with multiple partners. Alex and Paige were no more, but that was all I knew. None of my friends were friends of Alex's anymore. We were all ex-friends now, not even acknowledging each others existence. _

At the time, I thought I'd be stuck on the same cheating path for the rest of my life. Little did I know, I was soon about to lose Amy. For the better.

_Predictably, me and Amy kinda began to crack, and soon it dissolved completely. For a week after the 'amicable' split, I didn't see her. Then I started seeing her around town. After another few days, a tall black guy appeared next to her. Her latest victim. It was a miracle that me and Amy lasted so long after high school. Being with Amy reminded me of Alex. I missed her bad. I'd been missing her since the day I lost her. _

_Fast forward two years. I wasn't at McDonald's anymore, thank FUCK. I was moving back towards my calling: motor mechanics. I wasn't quite back in the garage yet, but I was working in an auto parts store, and with every day I felt I was getting closer to something half resembling what I wanted to do._

_As she walked in, he must have been telling her a joke, as she had the biggest of smiles on her face. He held her shopping bags in one hand and held her hand in the other. They walked in my direction, engrossed in conversation. She happened to look up as they got nearer. When she saw me, she momentarily froze. But she never broke the conversation the whole time. I had to hand it to her, she kept very calm and inconspicuous the whole time. Her voice didn't even tremor. Hearing her voice again was like a punch in the gut with every syllable. She was what, eighteen? A little over a year younger than me. I hadn't seen this beautiful girl since graduation. The last time she saw me, I was working the Drive-Thru at McDonald's. But the last time I saw her, she was a freaking lesbian! She looked different. Her long black hair was now even longer, and not black, but a reddy-brown kinda color. It looked nice._

_Her male companion didn't even acknowledge my presence. I mean, why would he? I wasn't anyone to him. I was just the guy who works in the store who would (potentially) process his order then never see again. They browsed for like ten minutes. I can't imagine Alex was very interested in looking at car stereos. Saying that, she must have a type. Her boyfriend was tall, but undeniably not as tall as me. He reminded me a bit of my buddy Spin. They lingered in the battery aisle for quite a while, and I swear to God she kept looking over at me every like two minutes. I was actually with a customer, half aware of what I was saying. I could practically feel her eyes burning into me. I noticed her lean in for a kiss more than once..._

I had lots of questions, but when she walked out of the store, I lost her for another seventeen months. I was majorly stressing about this at the time, but little did my teenage self know, in just under a years time, I'd be living with her in British Columbia, and eventually be the father of her kids. Choosing to stay in, away from the lure of the ravine on that Saturday night was probably the best decision I ever made. At first I was bored. Bored outta my tree. Then I got a knock on my door.

"_Lex?" I was stunned to see her at my door. After getting over that fact that it was her, I then realized that she was in a pretty bad way. This was the first time I'd ever seen her cry. Definitely. She was usually so strong, always in the eye of the storm, but always a fighter._

"_I knew you'd still be here." Her voice was shaky and a degree of its former self._

"_Lex?" All I could manage was to stammer her name stupidly._

"_Can I stay here tonight? No questions asked?" She motioned to the torn and bleeding version of her face. Her voice was solemn and requesting, not demanding and sarcastic._

"_Sure. Come on in." She smiled weakly, as if caused her pain, and crossed her arms back across her chest again. I opened the door wider and let her step over the threshold and she fell hopelessly into my arms and back into my heart. And she's been there ever since._

**Alex POV**

Dani was gutted that her dad couldn't take her to school today. Instead I took her. I took her in the scary car too, which she wasn't happy about, but Jay had took his to work with him. Zara cooed and babbled happily in the background as I progressed through the traffic steadily.

After I dropped Dani off, I took me and Zara home for a nap. Well, Zara had a nap. I have no time for such activities. I'm aware that there is a message bleeping on the machine, but I'm up to my hairline in dirty dishes that I'd asked Jay to do last night, but he'd conveniently never got round to it. As soon as I'd finished soaking the dishes, I played the message...

My freaking dress was ready. And I had to pick it up there and then. I couldn't leave it at the store until like, the day before the wedding. It had to be now. I explained to them that I might not be able to pick it up right away as I have a small baby, but they didn't seem bothered. In the end I asked Ellie to go get it for me while I got all the housework done. Well I say all, I mean some. I dried the dishes, vacuumed, mixed up a big vat of formula for Zara, got a load of laundry done and tidied Jay's car magazines under the coffee table. Our two bedroom apartment was too small to swing a cat in, so hence Zara slept in her crib in our bedroom, and Dani had her own box room, so I couldn't continue the vacuuming into mine and Jay's bedroom.

About an hour later, Ellie was knocking on my door, laden down with my horrific dress. I let her into the room and took the monstrosity off her and slung it over the back of the couch, wearily thanking her for picking it up.

"Where are you gonna keep it?"

"In the closet. I know enough about 'em." I forgot Ellie was uncomfortable with my casualness towards my sexuality.

"But Jay'll see it, surely?" Ellie protested, side stepping my closet joke quite professionally.

"There's only one place he looks for his clothes, and that's the floor."

"But still. What are the odds that now you've said that, the first place he'll go tonight is the closet."

I avoided making a Gay-Jay joke here. "Well, where else in this rabbit hutch am I gonna hide it?"

Ellie looked around as if magically expecting the walls to open up and more space to present itself.

"How about I lift the mattress and put it under there." I suggested, half seriously and half stupidly.

Ellie looked at me like she didn't quite know what to say.

"How about I just keep it at mine until the day before the wedding?"

"Perfect!" I clapped my hands and smiled in relief.

"Do you want to try it on?" Ellie smiled at her suggestion. I knew how much things like this made her happy, but I really hated that dress, and I wanted to wear it for the shortest amount of time possible.

"You know what, I don't wanna jinx anything. I'll leave it for now."

**Jay POV**

I should've seen it coming. The first thing my boss did when he walked into my office was pull a face like he'd just been told his budgie was dead. The windows were sealed and the heavy oak door created like a vacuum in the room, so the collective aroma from the four joints I'd smoked hit you like a truck. It took me a few second delay for it to trigger in my brain what was going on.

I don't know what it was that made my boss let me keep my job. I was grateful, to say the least. I didn't have to mention this to Alex. The next thing I had to do was face the fact that this over time was now unpaid. That was my punishment for the drugs at work fiasco.

Returning home to party central that night, my high was definitely long gone. Alex was clad in grey sweats and a black short sleeved shirt, her hair messy and her face not happy. I heard the screams coming from Zara before I smelt the burning of the dinner on the stove. Daniela was across the room in the living room knelt at the coffee table drawing, not making any sound, not being and trouble. This was definitely not the best time to explain my close call to Alex.

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**Please R&R! :)**


	6. Ten Days To Go

**The bits written in Dani's POV may sound a little weird and unprofessional, but they are meant to be child like, as she's only little, and hopefully that will be clear and thus, seem realistic and accurate when reading. Please review my darlings! Happy new year too all my readers too!**

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**Ten Days To Go**

**Jay POV**

That night, Alex didn't seem in the mood to discuss anything, let alone why I looked so forlorn, so I kept my mouth shut. We lay in bed with an ocean of space between us running down the middle of the mattress. I stared up at the ceiling fan with the smoky aromas of the weed still dancing on the roof of my mouth and my tongue. Alex was breathing lightly, almost completely silent. A few times I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't wuite string together the words. As she illuminated red letters adorning the alarm clock changed from 11:59 to 00:00, I considered how close the wedding was getting. It was hard to believe that in less than two weeks I'd be married. It certainly didn't feel like it. I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up on the morning of the wedding to find myself sat day dreaming in class at Degrassi, aged 16 again. It was stuffy in the bedroom, the windows were open and the drapes were billowing outwards elegantly with the breeze. Despite this, I was still baking and couldn't even think about going to sleep. I got out of bed four times in the night. I checked on Dani twice, stood over Zara's crib for a while, and I retired to the bathroom for ten minutes to sit on the edge of the bathtub and hold my head in my hands in self pity.

**Alex POV**

I swear to freaking God, if Jay doesn't stop fidgeting I'm gonna castrate him. He's been in and out of bed like a damn grasshopper. He vaulted out of bed for the fourth time and restlessly tugged at the string of the ceiling fan – I watched him out of the corner of my angry eye. He sighed loudly as he did so, and when he sank back into bed again he brushed against my back. His skin was red hot and it instantly irritated me, but I just bit my tongue and stayed staring at the wall opposite, pretending to be asleep. The drapes were blowing up with the breeze coming in through the window. While Jay was in the bathroom doing God-only-knows-what, I sat up in bed to cop a look at the alarm clock. 00:04. You have got to be kidding me. Another six hours of this silent torture!? Sometimes I resent the fact that I have such well behaved kids. Its a wonder, given their gene pool though. Jay's been pacing the hall, letting himself into Dani's bedroom twice. I wonder why he's so restless and irritable tonight...

**Dani POV**

Daddy keeps coming in to see if I'm asleep. I keep my eyes tight shut, but I know its him because he always walks into my drawing table and mutters bad words under his breath, but I always pretend not to hear him. He's been walking around making noise for most of the night time. I haven't been sleeping tonight. I'm pretending to be asleep. When he opens my door, the light from his bedroom came in, and now I can't sleep again. If I go in and see Mommy though she will shout cuz I'm supposed to be asleep.

**Jay POV**

I try and attract Alex's attention in other, non-verbal ways. I nonchalantly grazed her skin a few times to try and get her to turn around. The first time I did it, she flinched but she didn't respond, then after a few more tries she just rolled over from her side to her front and her hair spilled over her face, meaning she didn't want to be harassed right about now.

"Jay, for Christ sake, don't talk to me or touch me, I'm sleeping." Yep, that's what I guessed was coming.

I didn't answer, I just got out of bed, _yet again, _and took my pillows with me. I skulked down the hall angrily, hauled a comforter from the closet and threw myself on the couch huffily.

**Dani POV**

I heard Daddy walk past my door again and I guessed he was going to come in and check on me again, but he didn't. I heard his footsteps go all the way down the hall to the living room. My door was a bit open, and I could hear him talking to himself. I crept up to the door and looked out, but I couldn't see him as the living room is round a corner. He'd put the TV on, but it was still the middle of the night. I can't hear the baby crying, and mommy isn't awake, so why is daddy up? I stepped one more step through the door frame and was stood in the hall. It was really hot. I think daddy has turned the air conditioning off, because he is always moaning about how loud it is. I walked really slowly and quietly like an invisible girl so I wouldn't make daddy angry by disturbing him. Mommy and daddy's bedroom was open, I mean the door was. I crept in slowly. Mommy was looking away from me so I couldn't see if she was awake. The baby was asleep too. Everyone was asleep except for me. Because daddy was in the living room, one side of the bed was empty. I padded across the room quietly and climbed up on the bed slowly. I put my hand softly on my mom's arm and she jumped like a big kangaroo.

"Jay for fuck's sake, I thought I told you!"

**Alex POV**

My heart fell out of my ass as I threw myself over to face Jay, and was faced with Dani. As I cursed at her and my tone became angry and hiss-like, her face fell and she looked like she was going to burst into tears. I felt instantly sick at the afraid look on her face.

"Oh, sweetie! I didn't realize it was you! Why aren't you in bed, baby girl?" I softened my voice right away and she seemed less scared now.

"I can't sleep, mommy." Dani replied. She wouldn't look at me.

"What's up, baby?"

"It's too hot. I can't sleep."

Dani's room had basement-style windows that we didn't like to open as there was a balcony opposite us that was in easy reach of that room. "Mommy got the windows open _and _a fan. Do you wanna sleep in this bed tonight, D?" I offered.

"Yes please." Her tiny voice was tugging on my heart strings something rotten.

"OK, baby girl. You wait right here and I'll go get you a cold drink. That'll make you feel better." I ruffled her dark hair playfully as she reclined on Jay's now vacant side of the bed.

As I headed down the hallway, I could hear Jay drumming his fingers on the arm of the couch. He was sat upright with just track pants on, staring at the snowy screen on the disconnected TV.

"Jay, Dani is burning up. You've gotta get the AC fixed." I muttered to him from the kitchen as I deposited a tonne of ice cubes into Dani's glass of water.

"I can't do anything about it now can I, it's fucking midnight, gone."

"That's not what I said, is it?" I retorted. I'm not putting up with his mopey shit, especially not at this time of the night. Morning. Whatever.

"I'll do something about it in the morning. It'll be a clangy job." He commented, making up a word.

"So? We're all awake. You may as well go the whole hog and blow a fog horn in Zara's face."

He didn't look happy. "Whatever, Alex." He muttered.

I didn't respond to him, I just took the glass of water through to Dani and sat with her until she fell asleep in my arms at around 01:30. jay spent the rest of the night on the couch, and ironically enough, spending the night sat upright holding my little girl in my arms made me all warm and maternal inside, but being sat under the window ave me chills all down my left arm where I was leaving myself exposed to the elements. I joked to myself in my head that Jay should come back now and set up camp underneath this window, but I was more than happy to have a night away from him...

**Alex POV**

When I awoke, Dani was out of my arms and lying next to me on her front with flush red cheeks, her dark hair messy and strewn rather like my own, and her thumb was lodged in her mouth comfortingly. My neck was painful, but I soldiered through it. As I woke up properly and I figured what was going on, I realized I could smell bacon. And Zara wasn't in her crib. Either somethings gone horribly wrong... or Jay has actually decided he'll help me out for once. I'm praying its the latter.

I lightly pressed my fingers against my little girl's forehead, being careful not to disrupt her. Her skin was very warm, and she snuffled softly as she breathed in and out. She'd barely touched her drink I'd bought her last night. I decided I was going to let her stay there, no school today. It'd be like when she was Zara's age and I'd spend the day with her, instead of on my own doing errands and waiting for Jay. I got out of bed and covered myself with my robe and left the room, leaving the door wide open so I'd be there for Dani when she woke up.

As I arrived in the kitchen/living room area, I found Jay manning a pan of sizzling bacon with Zara happily cooing and pottering in her playpen. She was gripping the sides with her pink, fleshy hands and was stood up stepping on the spot in that nervous, unsure way that new walkers do when they're so young. I sauntered over to her, feeling overcome with pride and admiration. I swept her off her feet – quite literally – and took her in my arms, kissing her chubby cheek affectionately.

**Jay POV**

I could see the glint in Alex's eye as she clutched lovingly to Zara and observed the scene that was unfolding in front of her. I was cooking breakfast – bacon, scrambled egg and toast – and Zara was fed and watered already, and it was only 7am.

"Good morning beautiful." I looked in their direction. "Hi to you too Alex."

She smiled and swatted my arm with her free hand. Zara had her usual huge smile plastered on her face. Her messy hair was cute and flustered. "Good morning you freeloader."

I knew she was joking in her weird way, but it was like a kick in the stomach knowing that there was truth behind that.

"I hope you're hungry. I made lots. And lots."

"Babe, Dani's ill. I'm not letting her go to school today."

I won't lie, I felt relief. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's burning up." There were those pangs of guilt again.

"Make sure all th-"

"All the windows are open. She couldn't have stayed in her room, it's way too stuffy in there without those windows open."

"I'd rather her get a high temperature than be kidnapped though, wouldn't you?"

I had no school run to do this morning, so the first thing I did after breakfast was call up my boss and beg him to let me come into work early. He reluctantly agreed, but I still wasn't getting paid for the overtime, just for the bog standard six hours of slavery I endured.

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**Kind of a filler chapter there I know. I had an idea for a plot line for this chapter but it would have made the chapter too long and really elaborate, but I promise in the next chapter there will be actually something happening, not just a chapter of feelings, thoughts and emotions like this one.**

**Please review guys!**


	7. Nine Days To Go

**Chapter Seven**

**Alex POV**

After the fretful night, the day seemed to be running unnaturally smoothly. Jay was at work, Zara was asleep and me and Dani had made cookies. She sat next to me on the couch, her little legs not quite reaching over the edge. I held her glass of milk for her as she tucked into a cookie silently. I watched her discretely as she ate. She had no expression on her face. Her cheeks were flush, her eyes solemn.

"Baby, are you OK?" I tightened my arm around her shoulders. She looked up at me and nodded with the deep blue eyes she'd inherited from Jay.

"Yes mommy."

"You sure?"

"Uh huh." Dani nodded again.

"OK, baby. Want some milk now?" I handed her the glass and swapped it for the crumby tissue she had been clutching the tepid cookies in. I took myself to the kitchen and put the garbage away and started stacking dishes. Dani was still looking at the TV. Mind numbingly stupid cartoons blasted from the box. Funnily enough, it wasn't for Zara or Dani that we ordered this cable channel, it was for Jay.

I just happened to look at the notice board as I turned back to the mountain of dishes. Me and Jay had Dani's parent-teacher meeting to go to this afternoon. Guaranteed, Jay would have forgotten about this, so I rang him at work to remind him, and to my surprise, he was the one telling me we had the meeting before I even had a chance to inform him of our agenda.

"OK, well I guess I'll see you there then." I concluded dumfoundedly. "Four pm, don't be late."

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Famous last words. Surprise, surprise, Jay was late. I sat on the wooden bench outside Dani's classroom bouncing a fretful Zara up and down on my knee. Fifteen minutes after I told him he had to be here, he was tanking up the hallway at top speed, rushing his apologies to me – something about spark plugs and headlights – and we could finally go in. This was only the second time I'd ever met Dani's teacher, and it was all crystal clear to me now why Jay was always up here, taking on the school run, etc. This woman was beautiful. I saw Jay's eyes travel up her body pausing temporarily at her chest. I couldn't even scold him for it cuz I did exactly the same thing. For a kindergarten teacher, she was awfully like someone you'd expect to find on a pole in some club. That said, she probably was a whole different person on a Saturday night. She invited us to sit down and she handed us over a few examples of Dani's work. As she did she pushed her boobs forward subtly and I heard Jay struggle to disguise his sharp intake of breath. I let this one slide and focused my attention solely on looking at my daughters work.

I was expecting this; this work was great. Dani had been coming to this kindergarten for like eleven months, and she was already working at second grade level according to Hooters. But it wasn't all plain sailing. After praising us with how good her drawing and writing skills were, Hooters dropped another bombshell that I was much more concerned about.

Hooters had some sort of theory that Dani might be 'slightly depressed'. I quote her exact words there. I knew Dani was a quiet girl who kept herself to herself, but it never occurred to me that this could be the case. I mean, she's four freaking years old! She shouldn't have any problems at all. As soon as it was out in the open, I could feel Hooters judging me.

"I've tried many times to talk to Dani and get her to open up, but its like fighting a loosing battle." Miss Whore continued to speak down to me, as if I was one of her bratty pupils.

"How long has this shit been going on?" I demanded to know, not caring that I just cursed. I was dumbfounded that this was happening, and to be met by Hooters' silence just infuriated me further. "Look, lady. I'm getting married in just over a week. I don't need some overreacting Barbie doll telling me this bullshit!"

Jay had been sitting dutifully next to me with his hands gathered in his lap looking to the floor, but following my outburst, he leaped off his seat like it was on fire.

"Uh, what Lex meant was she's a little caught up at the minute. We'll talk to Dani, see if she will tell us anything. And I think we'll be off now, unless there's anything else."

Wow, he was handling this calmly.

"Uh, no thank you for your time." Hooters timidly shook Jay's hand and smiled at me nervously. Jay lead me out of the classroom with his first balled up forcefully at the bottom of my back.

* * *

**Jay POV**

"What the fuck, Jay?!" Alex hissed at me as soon as we stepped through the door onto the tarmac of the parking lot.

"You can't create a scene like that in a freaking kindergarten!" I protested, feeling about two inches tall as a gaggle of kids and parents passed by looking horrified.

"Why are you so calm about this?" Alex inquired, calming down to look just plain suspicious.

"I'm not calm! I just don't wanna start having a breakdown in public!"

"Breakdown? Who said anything a breakdown, Jay? But you just seem a bit too relaxed to have just been accused of making a four year old suicidal."

"Depressed."

"What?" Alex spat incredulously. "What the fuck?"

"She's not suicidal. She's depressed." I said what I said, then I realized what I'd said. "In fact, she's not even depressed. She's just Dani. Let's just get outta here."

* * * * *

The car journey home was awkward and silent. I couldn't stop myself from muttering obscenities under my breath as I drove, blaming the traffic for this later. I had so much on my mind before today, now I had a whole ton of other stuff to worry about. It was astronomical. Alex didn't talk to me once on the way home, but she did smoke two of my cigarettes that I couldn't really afford to smoke anymore. When we got in, she didn't speak to me still, she spoke a few words to Emily who was 'looking after' Zara and Dani. I spent the majority of the evening alone with my troublesome thoughts that I couldn't escape from.

_'When Alex finds out that I'm loosing us money and am on my final warning at work, I don't know if I will need to worry about planning anything else for the wedding. There won't be one. Either that or I won't have any balls of which to speak of after she's done with me. 95% of our money has gone toward this wedding for the last fifteen or so months, and now the end is finally in sight and I'm getting less money than I was during the mega spend out. And if that wasn't enough to worry about, now Alex is suspicious of me about this thing with Dani. I am trying to tell her that I'd noticed Dani was seeming quieter than usual, but if I do, Alex'll bite my head off for holding it back from her. And I haven't said anything to Alex, but since I overheard Alex and Ellie talking about Paige the other day, I'm sure Lexi's been seeing her again. I'm gone all day, she's stuck at home with the baby, she's got the time. It's always been in the back of my head that she might never quite have got over her high school experimenting. Every morning I wake up and look her in the eye and wonder if she's wondering if she made the wrong decision. Personal insecurity is something I never divulge to anyone. Its not something that someone like me ever shows. But as I get older, I become more and more insecure. Sometimes I feel it doesn't add up that me and Alex are still together. I treated her like shit in high school, and yet here we are. About to get married. Maybe if I pinch myself, I'll realize this has all just been a dream.'_

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**Please R&R!**

**Sorry for the huge wait! Hope you guys like the chapter!**

**Next one: Paige calls Alex up, and Jay has to sell one of the Civics to make a bit of money, but has to do it without letting Alex find out whats up.**


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